Someone might ask why they should think of something trivial when they are already troubled by the crisis or worse, crippled by some illness. When you are already struggling, soul searching does not seem any appealing than water under the bridge, so again why try to improve yourself? As most people point out the deepest source of satisfaction is their family, so becoming a better person for your family’s sake or a more adjusted employee or your own boss. If, on the other hand, your relationships have been falling apart, seemingly over trivial matters, and you end up along, raising kids on your own, then perhaps it is the time you looked deep within yourself in search for some unhealed inner children.
Inner Children Are for Real
When you look at some people from your family or relatives and friends, it is astonishing at times to digest some naked truth about ourselves. The painful discovery does not have to involve some ridiculously high costs of a compulsory visit to a shrink, unless you are really on the dark side. Inner children represent those subconsciously repressed parts of the personality that still live in the past, such as a scared or angry child or a rebellious teenager, and are activated when some scripts from the past are repeated in the present, with some people and in some situations. Instead of acting from the position where we easily hold our ground, our inner children come to life once again. Many of those people who are struggling to cope with life have evolved certain strategies to help them protect their inner children from pain and further humiliation. Most probably, when one is under much pressure, the strain causes the inner child to react incontrollably to someone else’s painful actions or words, somehow bringing up old, unresolved issues to the surface, often ruining the relationship or a relation with someone close. We hardly realize that we react not as an adult, but more as a parent whose copy we have been taught to become, not to mention the role of the genes, or a child. Inability to communicate clearly our wishes in a respectful manner is another reason, many people having no idea how to proceed. This can or does not have to do with those inner child worries we never gave any thought to. The problem lies deep within your core built of someone else’s beliefs, values and ways of acting. The more rigidly we have learned to act, the less chance we have at making the life we want to pursue. We are often told to search for our inner child, but that refers to a child fully aware of their abilities, grounded and serene, not those scared and abandoned babies, crying uncontrollably, numbed and protected by those stiff and rigid ways that help shield people from hurting you again. What would be the best course of action in case you discover you are not as totally full or fulfilled as you had hoped to prove to yourself? To delve deep inside yourself with the help of some therapist or an otherwise wise person to lead you towards a recovery.