Soft skills are what matters so much when we are dealing with other people on a daily basis. The core set would be composed of the ability to name and manage your emotions, namely, keep them accordingly in check, so that you can avoid unnecessary conflicts and work out a satisfying solution for any party involved. This, however, involves a combination of highly developed individual skills that are used in everyday life but sometimes may be lacking from the set, in the end making it impossible for you to reach a breakthrough discovery.
Be Clear and Specific
The ability to clearly state your intention and convey through the verbal and non verbal clues is a skill. Many a time we could feel misunderstood by the other party who felt offensed by our words and actions we did not really intend. The communicative style could definitely allow us to take into account another person’s feeling and the basic wish to feel respected, which is a frequently missing ingredient from many of our attempts to communicate. The basic skills are taught early in the childhood but as the task management complexity increases we might be left bewildered and at our wits’ ends.
What you always need to take into advantage is to see multiple ways out and various scenarios that should cross your mind instantly or if you are lucky, take the time to prepare things before you launch them, eg. a difficult conversation with your boss or an employee whose performance has not been up to par. Lack of some decisiveness on your part is mostly going to harm your chances of being explicitly clear on various issues but what you need also is empathy. However, it does not mean that you cannot be tough to be kind, as your role dictates how you must behave towards a particular person, eg. provide costructive criticism or set firm boundaries. In any case, you cannot control another person’s reaction, but you can control yours. If you sell a tough sell to the person in question being exposed to some fair feedback, do not think for a while that their reaction is going to be logical and cool at all times. On the other hand, even if you apply all the rules going by the book, you would be easily taken by surprise when confronted with anger despite you dishing out the naked truth as a sweetened pill.
Negotiating a solution is always a tough sell as well. No matter how far you are willing to go with your resolution to bend on a given issue, opposition is an expected reaction. That explains why some social issues cannot be promptly addressed as the negotiations drag for hours on end and justifiably so.
Accepting the Criticism
That is the issue as seen from the other side. To accept fair judgement about your actions is a masterpiece move that is very rare for most people. If you are dealing with the underhanded approach then by agreeing with your critic you are for some surprise, but if you find that bit of truth then later it should be easier for you to disarm your opponent.